Super boredom
by Royal Puppet Master
Summary: One shot. It was meant to be serious at first but then I got bored halway through and it turned to crack. Review if you like ore don't like my sense of humor.


Disclaimer: I do not own death note. Or the characters. Or the plot... and a bunch of other things included in the first sentence... If only. Hey, a girl can dream.

A.N./ I apologize to any Misa fans ahead of time. She just needed to be this stupid for the plot line. Soo... angry fishes will bite your knees if you don't review after reading this. I love any and all reviews. I am writing this for my mother. Humor insured.

Darkness. All he could see was darkness. The deepest depths of darkness. He kept looking into. He wasn't sure why he kept staring into that never ending abyss. He just did. His own honey colored eyes couldn't help but look into those eyes. They held something. Pride? Insecurity? He didn't know. All he could even fathom while looking into those eyes was their dark color. They looked as though they could be the bottom of the ocean. The deepest depths of the Earth. It was the same for the hair. The hair was colored so beautifuly black. It was a wonder how the hair could match the eyes. So dark. He couldn't fathom it. He kept trying but to no avail. It was hopeless. Light stared into those eyes above him. He couldn't take his eyes off of those black depths. Even if he needed to apologize to save face for bumping into the new janitor of his school. He just couldn't bring himself to it. Suddenly a hand shot out and was held in front of his face.

"I assume you need help up since you've been staring at me for the past five minutes." The holder of those black depths spoke up.

"Huh? Oh no, I was just..." Light trailed off. He didn't know what to say. I got lost looking in your eyes was a plausible line but he dismissed it knowing it would appear as a cheasy pick up line.

"Just what." The older of the two said. He held a monotone voice. Light helped himself up while thinking of an answer to the man's question or rather statement with the way it sounded.

"It's nothing. I apologize for bumping into you. I wasn't looking where I was going." Light only needed the apology to save face. A small crowd of people had already gathered around. Of course, because he was the imfamous Light Yagami. Everyone loved Light. Everyone. Light held the top grades, was athletic, and was good looking. If that wasn't enough to love him, he had money and power. What more could you ask for? Of course, there was that whole not having a soul thing, but one could look past minor indescretions like that. It just so happened he sold his soul to some demon. Well, not exactly sold, he made a deal. If he fell in love and was loved back while he was here on Earth, he could have his soul back. Right now the demon, a.k.a. Ryuk, was keeping a hold on it. For money purposes only. That's what he was told anyway.

"I accept your apology. Not that you mean it, but I accept it never the less." Light was outraged. How dare he insinuate that he, Light Yagami, didn't mean it?! Despite the fact that it was true. Light over looked that little part though as his anger continued to build. He didn't like him. He was smug. He didn't even do anything to have smugness for. He was a janitor. Janitor. Not some pop star. Light could understand if he was a pop star. No he wasn't. He was a janitor. Let him repeat it one more time. HE WAS A JANITOR. Nothing more and probably less. Light couldn't show his rage. That could hurt his reputation. He didn't need that.

"Sir, that's not very ni-" He was cut off.

"Spare me your antics. My name is Ryuzaki." Ryuzaki. You. Will. Die. Light was serious. He had just met the man and he already hated him. Light hated very few things. He had alot of things that annoyed him, but very few that he actually hated. This man was one of the few, along with criminals, spiders, and unblanced loads in the washing machine. He hated that last one the most. Seriously, it's not that hard.

"-ce. Nice to meet you Ryuzaki-san." Light felt that the words needed to be said by one of the two and he was going to be the bigger man. Not in that way. ;)

"I would say the circumstances of our meeting are not nice Light-kun." Light inwardly rolled his eyes. He could deduct that mu... wait Light didn't give him his name.

"I agree... Ryuzaki-san, how did you know my name?" Light was curious. He needed this guy out of the way if he was psychic. Yeah, Light was terrified of psychics. One of those palm readers told him when he was five he was going to die at six. The, when he was six he almost died. Scary. Light was afraid to go back ever since. He wanted to never be around psychics again. They scare him.

"I happened to sneek a peek at the school's roster and the students pictures were by each name so..." Oh, good. So he wasn't psychic. Light let out a visibly sigh of relief.

"Why did Light-kun want to know?" That question had struck Light off gaurd. He slipped up. He showed a sign of emotion through his amazing facade. Yeah, he made a mask so good he forgot it was a mask sometimes. Like that time he was with the easter bunny. He would rather not go into detail with that incident. Stupid, perverted easter bunny. Light also doesn't like bunnies any more. Or barbies, but that is a completely diffrent story. It involved a dress, high heels, and lipstick. Also his father's tie, shoes, and fake mustache. His father wore a fake mustache because he couldn't grow a real one. It also involved a little girl down the street. Yeah... Let's just say he wasn't the one in his father's stuff.

"No reason. I was just wondering." Then, he heard a shreik followed by Misa glomping him.

"Light my precious boyfriend. I love you!" Misa loved Light. Light couldn't bring himself to feel the same about the girl though. Sure she was pretty. She was rich. She also was able to buy achoholic bevrages. Light didn't care though, she was stupid. An imbecile. Moronic, idiotic, quixotic, and she couldn't hold a secret if her life depeneded on it. He was sure of that. There was also the fact he was gay, but her being stupid was way more a factor than him liking guys. He didn't know why she even threw herself at him. There were plenty of times he told 'Misa I like men.' she just gigled and nodded. Light swore she was on some kind of dope. Nothing could make you that stupid. Misa just didn't understand. She was just too stupid. He felt sorry for the girl. If only she had some brains. She was like the scare crow.

"Misa, I am not your boyfriend. I do not love you. I like men. Say it with me. I LIKE MEN." Light only hoped to get it in the girl's head this time. Even though he knew it was impossible.

"I like men! No, Misa likes Light. Misa loves Light. Not other men." Light just sighed. Dealing with idiots was extremely difficult. They never understood. Dealing with crazy people was diffrent. Crazy people understood but chose to ignore you. Well, that has nothing to do with anything.

"Misa..." Light groaned.

"Miss Amane?" The JANITOR, Light still hadn't gotten over that thing with the intteruption of his sentence, said her name to get Misa's attention.

"Yes, mister janitor?" He rolled his eyes. At least he knows how annoying it is to deal with idiots. The man must have some brains.

"Ryuzaki."

"Ryuzaki-chan!" Light almost laughed. She called an OLDER MAN chan. Heh serves him right.

"Light is not dating you." The JANITOR, deadpanned.

"Yes, Light is not dating you. You're silly. Silly Ryu-chan!" Now she had done and gone given him that there nick name. Light couldn't help but burst with laughter after hearing her statement. Misa just went and hugged him again. She had the attention span of a fly.

"No, Light is not dating Misa."

"Light is dating me." Light almost groaned again.

"Misa, Light does not have a sexual attraction to girls." Light hoped to god that whatever force made Misa so stupid it gave her enough brains to fathom that.

"But... Misa loves Light." Light didn't even try to hide his disatisfaction when he face palmed himself.

"Misa, Light does not love you." Ryuzaki was on Ligh's side there at least. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all. Light had finally got over the little intteruption.

"No."

"Misaaaa..." Ryuzaki groaned. Bleep bloop beep bop boop blip boop bop bleep. Light was thinking of that new awesome game where you flap your arms and you would fly. It was awesome.

"Hello!" Ryuzaki, L for all of you like Light who hadn't figured out that the famous detective became a janitor to catch a drug dealer within the school's premises, had had enough. He just pulled Light up from tthe ground and gave him a chaste kiss to the lips.

"..." Light was stunned speachless.

"Light is my lover. Does Misa need anything more explained?" Ryuzaki, L if you don't know it already, desprately hoped she didn't. He hated explaining things to idiots, they didn't understand. Crazy people, cough B cough, understood they just didn't care. It reminded him of a certain Wammy's kid who became a serial killer hint hint.

"Oh! Now Misa gets it. It's a love triangle. Me and Ryu-chan is fighting over Light." Wait. This is not what Light wanted. Light didn't want the person he hated to have a love triangle with him in the middle and Misa and the JANITOR, social standing. He exspecially didn't want that to happen since he didn't love either of them.

"Yes, Misa, you and I will be fighting over Light."

[A few days later]

"Ryuzaki! What happened to Misa? I haven't seen her for a while." Light stated this after the drug dealer was busted and everyone was standing around congradulating the underling of L for doing such a great job.

"Oh, well... Misa has been sleeping." Ryuzaki, L for those of you who have skipped parts of the story and are like Misa who haven't figured this out on you own, said with a little smirk.

"Where?" Light asked not really sure if he wanted to know with that little smirk Ryu-kun, Light took to calling him this in his head, sent him.

"Oh, well the river at first, but it has been a few days. She could be sleeping in th ocean by now." Light was a little worried. Well, he had no soul. He wasn't worried. He liked the detective who worked under L, supposedly, when he didn't get on his nerves.

"So that means..." Light didn't want to say it.

"Yes, Misa is no longer my competition in dating you. You're mine, Light." Light was a little afraid of that statement but thought it would be okay. Misa was a light sleeper.

"Oh, so does that mean you and me are dating now?" Light had to ask.

"Yes, now does Light like me?"

"I guess." He answered honostly. He really was guessing. How would he know? HE HAD NO SOUL! None at all. Nada, zip, ziltch.

"Good then what couples do next should go without a hitch." Light was deathly afraid of what Ryu-kun meant. He hoped he wouldn't have to make coffee. Coffee had caffiene. Caffiene makes people hyper.

"We're not making coffee, are we?" Light didn't like coffee. He almost hated it. ALMOST. Say it with me. Almost. He didn't hate coffee.

"No, we're going to get married." Oh that makes sense. Couples get married. Of course in Japan or Japon in spanish same sex couples couldn't get married. That doesn't matter to Ryuzaki, or L if you weren't listening the first few times, he had power to chang laws. Typo. The rule book that the job of L came with actually said Lowes but what the hey.

"Alright, just go tell my dad." Light and Ryuzaki, cough L cough, skipped marrilly down to the court house and got married. A few days later they had a circus wedding to celebrate.

[After the ceremony or circus for those of you who paid]

"Well, Light, this all goes to show you."

"Show me what Ryu-kun?"

"The author of this story was on a sugar high." Ryuzaki, L if you only read my endings, and Light nodded to each other and snuggled close.

"Hey... Light... You win..."

"I win! Yay! Ryuk says I win!"

"Here's your soul back." Ryuk handed Light his soul and then Ryuzaki, for the last time L, and Light lived happily ever after.

A.N./ Yeah, about half way through I got bored. No ofense to me mother. I just had alot of caffiene. It was intened to be serious and then ended up utter crack. I think it's funny but I have a bad sense of humor. For all of those who enjoy, review. I don't care if it's a flame. I enjoy any and all reviews. 


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